I will die if light touches me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
