the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
