Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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