sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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