the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
