whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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