direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You left your phone here
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