i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize