she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Are we still banned from the library?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
