Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I need moral support for this bender
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
