let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
