ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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