My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
