Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize