we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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