Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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