We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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