would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize