i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
