last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
