just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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