Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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