3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My vagina just clenched in fear
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
