You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
