My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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