Whatcha textin bout Willis?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
