were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
