i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
