Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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