Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
