she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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