doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
