I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
