I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
