Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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