Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
