I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
