just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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