12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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