Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
