I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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