its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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