I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
