he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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