I'm drive I can fine osifer
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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