so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize