Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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