She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize