I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
