i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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