i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize