He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
