i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
