Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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