It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
