i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
