I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
