Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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