just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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