I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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