but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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