I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
