So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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