dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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