This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
